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2020, Beginnings, Blog, Blogging, college, Covid, Experiences, Family, Growing Up, Life, Love, Quarantine, Relationships, School, Success, Thoughts, University
2020. Those 4 numbers together speak for itself.
Only half the year has passed so far and yet so much has changed. Not only to me, but for everyone who once thought that the old “normal” would never change.
For me, I thought that this was going to be the best year of my life. My last few terms of college, living with my best friend and my boyfriend, graduating, travelling after graduation… What better way to end off my university journey?
Now as I sit here, 6 months later, after the first wave of the pandemic (kinda), partial lock down, university closure, learning that my grandmother has cancer, believing that I’m not really that important to my boyfriend now that we’re physically apart, and wondering if I can even find a job in this economy, all I can do is imagine what could have been.
I like to think of myself as an optimistic person, but it’s really hard to do so given the current situation I’m in. The only thing keeping me positive is knowing that I have incredible friends who go out of their way to make sure I’m okay, who checkup on me because they know it’s been rough, and who found a way to celebrate my birthday during quarantine. This has to be the toughest year I’ve endured so far and we’re only halfway to the next.
Recent events made me reflect on who I am as an individual and what really matters to me in my life. My friends, family, and career. That’s right, I included career in there. The reason I included “career” is because I have to be financially stable and become successful to show that my parents didn’t immigrate here 20 years ago for no reason. No, they did not force this upon me. I bring this upon myself because it’s hard seeing all the things that they could have had if we didn’t come here. It’s hard to see all the moments missed and know that it’s because they thought that coming here would provide me with a better future. It’s hard to see my mom video calling my grandmother every day, cheering her on, because she can’t be there with her. It’s hard to think that all these moments could have been lived differently, if my parents didn’t make the decision they did 20 years ago. Thus, it is my responsibility, as their only child, the one who they want to see prosper, actually achieve their hopes and wishes, which became my hopes and wishes as well.
These past few months have been hard on my mental health, but with the amazing people around me, there’s nothing I can’t do.